I wrote about depression, on last week and just a few days ago I walked to my office to begin my work. There was a program on the radio and I didn’t get to hear the begging or the end because I was called away, but the portion that I was able to hear was critical. It seems that quite a few people are talking about depression this season as a means for others to step out and realize that they are not alone or that they don’t have to go through it alone. I believe a lady wrote into the station questioning how she could help her son. Her son wasn’t doing well and she really doesn’t have the means to take care of him any longer but she continues to try. Her son mentioned that he could live on the street but, of course, as a parent you never want that as an end result. I didn’t hear anything about the father, do I don’t know if he was in the picture, still living, part of the sons life. I also don’t know how old the son was but it appeared from some of the callers that he must have been a young adult. Parents, although they go through it themselves, hate to see suffering in their children’s life (no matter what age they are). A man called into the station and I was able to hear most of what he had to say. I began by saying parents have to learn when to release things and let them go and allowing their children to take the steps necessary for them to be responsible. He said that parents must own what they can do and release what their children can do for themselves which will enable them to grow in a healthy way. The caller said that her son knows how to get help (as an adult). He has to do the responsible thing to follow through and get what he needs. The mom mentioned that her son was severely depressed and had been hospitalized several times over the past couple of years. Obviously there was fear in her releasing him to care for himself. The caller went on to say that there is positive and negative in everything that we do (pleasure and pain). He said that the son has to be ready to do what was necessary to help himself get better. There is no shame in getting help. The mom cannot force a grown up to do what she has hoped for him to do. He has to do it on his own. Depression is an illness but even in that her son has some level of responsibility. The caller asked the question, “What is he avoiding, in refusing to get help for his need?” It was a question for the son to answer but he was not on the radio. We can teach our children, train them in the way that they should go, encourage them, help them when we can, and we can always pray for them but can’t force them to do anything against there will once they are grown ups. When we try, we then take on some of that depression. The caller didn’t say that the mom should put the son out but to at least begin the conversation that she would do what she could in her power to assist him with getting the help he needs and making it known that she would have to step out and allow him to be the man that she knew he could be.
What I wanted to share and just reiterate is that there is pleasure and pain in everything that we do. If you are on the side where you are experiencing pain, there is NO shame in getting the help that you need. I encourage you to do just that. Don’t overthink it. Don’t excuse it away as if you have it all under control. Take the steps needed to become whole, healthy and renewed. I am praying for you and I know that you can do it.
Quiet By Nature