RELATIONSHIPS – Would You Accept This Gift From a FRIEND?

Louboutin’s Red Sole Shoes

In a recent that post that I saw on a friend of mines Facebook page, there were a pair of red bottomed shoes with a caption that questioned if you would accept the shoes as a gift from a guy, if you were already in a committed relationship?  There were all types of answers; most being no and the general answer had to do with respect, love, honoring and keeping fresh what one already has in the making – not causing waves.  There were quite a few answers on the opposite side of this who saw a gift as a gift and when do you draw the lines with gifts (cards, flowers when you are sick, etc.). There was also a second question for the guys in what they would feel about a women who accepted this type of gift from her friend and how he would feel as a man, would it bother you, why or why not.  Again, the discussion went both ways. Some guys felt that if she was strictly just friends that there was no problem and if could purchase them and felt that his significant other deserved them – then it was all good. There were others who felt that it was opening a can of worms and that would make them want to ope a can of whoop -a$-we-continue-the-conversation.  There were quite a few men and women who gave scripture and yet others who had some interesting and funny from the world point of view answers.  I thought it might be interested to find out your thoughts regarding this subject.

Quiet By Nature





One thought on “RELATIONSHIPS – Would You Accept This Gift From a FRIEND?

  1. Quiet, there can be so many variables to think about here. Relationships take work and they are based on respect, commitment, TRUST, etc. and all of that is housed under the category of Love. As a male, I want to trust the person that I am in a relationship with. Far too often you see people marrying and re-marrying like it is a dating game. Marriage was meant to be til death due us part, but we always lay hold to that the fact “there are many other fish in the sea” and what we will and wont put up with from the beginning. That will and wont list, desires, deal breakers, must be established prior to the commitment. Too often we see people getting involved thinking that they are committed during the stage where they are still attempting to impress one another and only showing their best behavior … not 100% their true self. Now for the question: I have seen people receive homes, cars, etc. as gifts and yes between male and female who already have a husband, wife, girlfriend or boyfriend. In the majority of the cases the gift was talked over with the significant other FIRST as not to disrespect them, leave them out or have suspensions. If there were in any reservations in each of the cases that I know about – the gift was not given and something more appropriate was suggested and given. In the cases where the person to receive the gift was informed about the gift first, in 100% of those case that person informed their partner and communication took place so there would be no reason to distrust etc. I think you wrote something recently about communication and the bottom line is true communication – where both side have an opportunity to speak on their true feelings has to take place for any gift (including small gifts such as cards). I have to have evidence that you trust me and I have to be able to trust you. I don’t want any questions in my mind. I have seen people from church (friends) and various other places give outrageously big gifts. These individuals were FRIENDS – not using this word lightly. They know the value of friendship and relationships. There may be some who will be quick to say “yes – I’ll take the gift” but what happens when someone of the opposite sex gives your husband (spouse) an expensive pair of shoes, pants, underwear, car, home, card? When you are married you are supposed to be ONE. All decisions are made as ONE. If that is not happening then those relationships are already in BIG trouble. If you have been in a relationship with the person giving the gift – then there are other things that must be considered. I think that I could go on and on with this subject, but I will say again, Relationships take work and they are based on respect, commitment, TRUST, etc. and all of that is housed under the category of Love. As a male, I want to trust the person that I am in a relationship with. Some people think that their relationships are committed until they run into things like this. My beloved would have to talk things over with me first – not with an attitude that she plans to go ahead and take the gift no matter what but we both must have an open mind and hear the other out – REAL COMMUNICATION. I don’t want stress and strain and my relationship. Not being included to determine my feelings is a deal breaker for me and I don’t need to be with someone who leaves me out or does things without considering what my thoughts are. There are people who give to bring a wedge, to cause jealousy, to harm relationships, to imply certain things – even if those things are not true. We have to be smart and care more about the relationship than the gift. If the relationship means nothing anyway – then it is not a relationship – we all should be careful what we accept, ask for and who receive various things from.

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