COMMUNICATION – The number one break down in most relationships (marital, family, friends, work, etc.) The biggest part of communication is LISTENING. Most of time we have selected hearing and pick out what we want to hear and not exactly listening to the message being sent. We wait for our turn to sp
eak (sometimes) but only so we can blurt out what our own thoughts and feelings are. Sometimes things are perceived from conversations that are not based on fact, which is why clarifying questions should always be asked. “I heard you say blah blah blah, is this what you meant to say or am I off base”?
Last month I was a part of a conversation with someone, however, there were several other people involved in the conversation. I did not have the main points in the conversation but here we are a few weeks later and now I am forced to think about what one of the other persons may have thought or felt. Some times we hurt others based on what they perceived and it may not be one persons fault or the others but regardless pain is involved. Above all else I serve God and don’t want to do anything displeasing in His site. I don’t set out, intentionally, to bring pain, because I know how it is to be a recipient of pain.
At this point I still am not sure what exactly the person thought would come from our conversation but I am clear on the fact that the person is pissed because they wanted something further, or could have possibly thought something more than what I added to the conversation. I can honestly say that I have, on 3 occasions, (concretely) said where I stand and what my position with relationships. But the other person still heard hope or perceived their own set of ideas. I mention this because someone else mentioned to me that the person in question could be interested in me. Part of the problem may appear to be that I have friends of every gender. When speaking about my friends there appears to be some jealousy or something that I can’t quite put my finger on. I am sure this all seems complicated since I can’t really mention the exact thing that happened yet, but I am in prayer that God will handle it all. It appears the person no longer wants to be friends and to be clear, I have just started helping and speaking to this person over the past couple of months – with that said it is truly hard to say that this person is an actual “friend” as I take my friends – inner and outer circles very serious and I do not use that word unless it really is a tried and true friend. More to come on this one so that it will make more sense to us all. I am not sure how to make this better or if I should even bother with it for reservation that if this guy is already this confused, with plain language, that even more clarifying may bring more wrong impressions.
Quiet By Nature